She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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