I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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