I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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