dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
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Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
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'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?