I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.