I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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