Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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