Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How naked do you want me to be?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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