fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
