3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize