i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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