Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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