never play flip cup with pint glasses
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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