Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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