My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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