I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
