I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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