I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
