i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...