i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
