You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
