Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
