Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize