Cold hands, warm shart.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize