I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
