I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
