Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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