You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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