it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
