I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
