Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
