I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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