How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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