So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
