he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
