how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
