you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
