Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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