My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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