i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
