Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
