I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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