I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
