One girl and one boy is just not enough.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
