really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize