he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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