Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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