This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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