If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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