True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize