Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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