i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
