We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
