She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
