is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
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Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
tell me about the eggs
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