Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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