I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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