I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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