When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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