i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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